Three Times Loki Hated Technology and One Time He Didn't
by her-little-musings
Summary: As Loki adjusts to Earth, he realizes that human technology is a bit more complicated than he believed it to be.


I: The Microwave

It was Friday night. A night usually reserved for him and Darcy, but it was girl's night and that meant no boyfriends. Even if said boyfriend was a rehabilitating God of Mischief with no one else to interact with. (He most certainly did not count Thor)

And so, Loki found himself flipping through the TV channels aimlessly in hopes something would be able to entertain him long enough until Darcy came home. A faint pang of hunger nudged at his stomach, and he pushed it off. Gods got hungry, but eating was hardly necessary. Just a nuisance, really. But in the back of his mind, he remembered Darcy vaguely mentioning some of her special lasagna in the refrigerator in case he did want to eat.

News about a downward spiraling celebrity.

_Click_.

A soap opera he didn't care for.

_Click_.

And then the food channel. He lingered on it for half a second before shutting the TV off and racing to the kitchen to find the lasagna neatly packed into a Tupperware. Undoing the lid, he dumped it onto a plate. He stared at it, realizing that it was _cold_ and Darcy always heated it nicely before giving it to him. She used the oven for that, but it hardly seemed necessary.

Scanning the unfamiliar items on the kitchen counter, he came upon a toaster. No, that couldn't be right. It was for bread and for some reason mortals liked it crispy. Then there was a contraption next to it called a toaster-oven and that baffled him even more, so he didn't broach it.

On top of the stove, there was the microwave and he saw Darcy use it several times on occasion, mostly to heat up their takeout. That must be it.

He opened the little door, nudged the plate inside, and shut it, looking at the buttons in confusion.

Potato. Beverage. Popcorn. Meat. Soup.

There wasn't a button for lasagna!

With frustration, he clicked the button labeled "Express Cook" and a timer began to count down from thirty seconds. When it rang, he assumed it was done so he withdrew the lasagna with a semi-satisfied grin. He was getting accustomed to Earth and its more trifling artifacts.

Procuring a spoon, he took a slice of the lasagna and took a bite in revel. However, while the outside seemed warm, the inside was just as cold as if it were in the refrigerator. With a snarl and glare, he simply set the meal on fire. That should make it warm enough!

In his anger, he failed to notice the door open, followed by Darcy in a cheery mood.

"Loki! We had some extra cheesecake so I brought some home for us to sh—What are you _doing_?!"

He hadn't felt this embarrassed in a long time. Snuffing out the flame, he simply replied, "The microwave wasn't working."

II: Facebook

Darcy was currently leaning over his shoulder, which was quite pleasant. Her hair brushed past his cheek and if he turned his eyes sideways, he could sneak a glance at the opening of her shirt.

Unfortunately, there were more "important" matters at hand as Darcy flicked his temple and handed the mouse over to him.

"Eyes on the computer, Loki! Here, fill out your information so everyone can know have _normal_interests."

"World domination doesn't count?" He quipped cheekily, which earned a huff from Darcy.

"No! We're—"

"You're," he corrected, but she disregarded him.

"—Trying to make you more personable. And Facebook is a good place to start. Look; Jane has one, I have one, and so does Steve!"

Loki rolled his eyes. Fine. He'd appease Darcy. He could fill out this online form, but it didn't mean he had to actively use it.

At his acquiescence, Darcy flashed him a satisfied smile and he dragged the cursor over to 'Name.' He typed in Loki.

He proceeded to last name.

Odins—

No. Well, yes. Technically…

He tried again.

Laufeys—

With a frustrated smack against the desk, he backspaced, and sent Darcy a murderous glance. She sheepishly took the mouse from him and x-ed out from the window.

"We'll try something else," she agreed, turning him away from the computer.

III: Driving

"I don't see why this is necessary," Loki said with a droll that was dangerously close to a whine.

"It's not about necessity, it's about _fun,_" Darcy explained, unbuckling her seatbelt and gestured for Loki to get out of the car. "Have you ever rented one of SHIELD's cars? Pre-tty awesome. God or not, you still need a license to drive one. You're lucky we fudged a permit for you."

He muttered something nonsensical and proceeded to sit at the drivers seat. They were in an empty parking lot on the outskirts of the city, just far enough from the busy traffic.

Darcy sat next to him and gave him a pointed look. "Seatbelt," she instructed.

"If you think this machine can damage me—"

"It's the principal of it!" She said, reaching over to buckle him as if he were a child. "Now, turn the key and put your foot on the break—good—Now put it into gear…"

"Loki, I'm not sure if this is a good idea. You _just_ learned how to drive—"

"Darcy," he replied, emulating her tone, "If you don't think I can operate this piece of machinery, you must really underestimate my abilities."

"It's not you I don't trust, it's the people around us!" She said with exasperation, feeling oddly like her parents. Either way, Loki was already turning onto a main road. During rush hour, no less! Clenching the sides of the seat, Darcy braced herself.

Ten minutes in, everything was going smoothly.

Until someone honked them.

And then proceeded by a rude gesture and cut off, as the person who honked them bypassed and ran the red light. Loki scowled.

"Don't humans have any sense of respect? I think the red light signals enough!"

Another honk.

Loki turned his head, glaring at the cars and Darcy opened her mouth in an 'o' of realization.

"It's because you have your right blinker on. You can make a right on red, but you can just wait until it's green to—-"

Fed up with technology, Loki raised the car into the hair and propelled it with magic, muttering darkly under his breath.

"LOKI!" Darcy screamed, gripping the handle of the car for support as they went faster, wondering if this was technically illegal.

He dodged the phone lines with ease, and Darcy urged him to go higher than the skyscrapers to avoid hitting anything. They landed on the roof of the SHIELD headquarters, and agents were already pouring out from the doors in wonder.

"Human technology is trivial," Loki decided, stepping from the car with nonchalance, but Darcy just smiled in response.

IV: Resolution

It had been a week since the flying car fiasco and things had finally settled down. Standing in the grocery store with a bag of chips and dip felt refreshingly normal for Darcy, despite the fact that she would be delivering it to two gods in the next fifteen minutes.

Thor had convinced Loki to come to his and Jane's apartment claiming that he had something "fascinating" to show Loki, and he decided to humor Thor and also convince him he wasn't about to go on a rampage against the city after the car incident.

So when she stepped into the apartment (unlocked, but she supposed someone would have to be suicidal to steal from Thor) and heard yelling, she could only assume the worst from the brothers.

"Loki, I told you to _PRESS THE BUTTON_!" Thor boomed.

"I can't do that if you're standing over there!" Loki shot back, followed by a hasty clicking noise. Darcy peeked curiously into the room and a chuckle escaped her as she saw them hunched over an Xbox.

They both turned around, neither showing signs of embarrassment, but more annoyance. Loki put the game on pause and took the chips and dip from Darcy's hands and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you love," he said, resuming his cross-legged position on the floor by the controller and ripped the bag open.

Darcy eyed the games strewn about—They were currently playing Portal 2, there was an unopened Mario Kart, and Skyrim off to the side.

"Having fun?" She directed to both of them, and Thor smiled as he went to get a drink.

"Stark bought this for me as a house warming gift."

"I think he was more amused by our characters in the other game," Loki said, gesturing to the Skyrim box. "I use magic and Thor wields a hammer. He's saddened that he can't enchant it with lightning, though."

Thor returned and looked at the screen carefully. "I believe you're right, brother. If we want to access the other room, I should probably angle myself the other way."

Darcy could've sworn there was a ghost of a genuine smile on Loki's face.

"Well, shall we begin?" He said, pressing the start button.


End file.
